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 Mysore, Karnataka, India – We woke up in the late morning and had tea and the newspaper delivered to the room. It was Sunday, so we skipped visiting the doctors and just went walking around the city instead.
We decided to have an easy day, so we went to an Indian movie called Pandian. This was a movie in the Tamil language, starring two of India’s famous actors. Insert script from guide and some other woman. When the macho hero appeared on the screen, everyone in the theater started screaming their approval.
The plot reminded me of Greece and that it is about this macho dude who beats up boys and also does song and dance routines every once in a while. He and his buddies go to this nice hotel and start partying when this bitchy woman complete with her 20-chick entourage comes in and challenges the hero to a song and dance competition. The do a couple of numbers, which really reminded me of “summer loving” from the movie Grease, and she loses the dance contest more due to bad acting than bad dancing. The hero and the bitch play practical jokes on each other for two hours or so, complete with intermittent song and dance routines before the bitch finally breaks down and falls in love with the hero. Another musical number ensued in which everyone was dancing on no less than nine sailboats cruising around the Madras harbor. I have no idea how that related to the rest of the story line, but everyone except us seemed to like it.
Finally, it was intermission and time for the three westerners to make their exit. I do not know how long Indian movies run but I would consider it some kind of cruel and unusual punishment if someone made me sit through an entire Tamil movie. It was dark or dusk rather when we left. So we headed over to the Maharaja’s Palace in the city center to check it out. The palace is only lit from like 7 to 8 on Saturday nights. So, we figured we’d have a look. No one told us it would look exactly like London’s Harrods. Hundred’s of little white light bulbs all over the palace – tacky.
Mysore, Karnataka, India – At 5 a.m. this morning, I awoke to the sounds of Rich getting sick in our loo. This happened at Colva beach, so I was not too concerned but then he told us his back hurt on the left side. You could tell the pain was really bad because Rich was trying to walk around the room but could not stand up due to the pain. Rich sat on a chair for a while, while Kate and I hypothesized as to what his ailment could be.
After about an hour, the pain got too bad for Rich, so he and Kate left to go to the hospital. By 10 a.m. neither of them had returned and we were being kicked out of our hotel room in two hours. So, I went to go find us another room. I wandered around Mysore looking at the town and finally got us a decent room in the city center, only there were no locks on the windows. I went back to the Ritz, packed Rich’s, Kate’s and my bags and as I was leaving, I got this brilliant idea of how to lock the windows in our new room. I took out my Swiss Army Knife and cut a 2-inch strip off the full length of the bed sheet. I then quickly grabbed all our bags, locked the door and exited, jumping into the first available rickshaw I could find. When I arrived in our new room, I took my strip of fabric and promptly tied the window shut making our room burglarproof. After dumping our stuff on the beds, I decided it was time for my walking tour of Mysore.
Still no word from Rich and Kate but I had left them a note at the Ritz telling them where our new room was. I went walking around the city and at about 12:30, I found the hospital, so I popped in to see if Rich had been admitted that morning. I walked in and noticed a crowd of about 20 people standing around something in the middle of the hallway. I walked to the crowd to find out what was so interesting and was shocked to find them gawking at a man in a wheelchair who looked like he just been in a car accident. His leg was wrapped up in gauze and he appeared to be in a great amount of pain, but everyone just seemed to be looking at him. No one with any medical type training appeared to be helping him at all.
I passed this crowd of rubberneckers and made my way to the admission’s desk. The desk was swarming with short Indian men all gabbing away at the clerk, but seemed that I towered over all of the local men by at least 4 inches. He asked me what I wanted. I asked if an American man and a British woman had come to be admitted to the hospital early that morning. The guy said no and when I asked him to look through the records for the day to check, he told me no Americans had been admitted that day.
I left the hospital and went back to the Ritz to see if the note had been picked up by either one of them. The man at the desk said a girl had picked up the note, which really confused me because they were not at the hospital. The note said for Kate to meet me at 4 o’ clock for tea at a specific café. So, when 4 o’ clock rolled around and Kate did not show up after an hour of waiting, I really began to get worried. I was thinking things like, Rich was anesthetized and Kate could not leave the hospital because they were going to perform surgery on him and she was not going to let them. I was trying to figure out how I was going to get Rich to Bombay or possibly to Hong Kong to get proper medical attention. All sorts of wild thoughts went racing through my mind, so I went back to the hotel room, grabbed all the rupees I had left, a brick of about Rs1200, and decided I was going to go to every hospital and clinic until I could find them.
I went back to the main hospital but instead of going to admissions, I stopped two nurses in the hallway and asked where to go if an American man had been admitted that morning. “Stone building” was the response I received. Since every single building in the complex was painted bright yellow, I was confused as to what the hell stone building was.
I walked in the direction the nurses pointed and after seeing nothing resembling a place we put sick people, I stopped another nurse and asked my question. Stone building was her answer and it was not until two nurses later that stone building translated into ‘”Hospital ward No. 1″. I finally found the gray stone building, entered and began wandering around. All the signs were in Tamil, so I was just poking my head into some of the different rooms.
I found Rich in a ward with twenty seven other beds all occupied by locals with various ailments. Twenty seven beds in one room, it reminded me of one of the world war I field hospitals rather than a regular hospital. There were two nurses wandering around, looking rather nurse-like in their white saris. Kate was there with Rich and she explained that they had had a sonogram of Rich’s kidney done three hours earlier and they were waiting for a doctor to look at the results. Kate is a medical student at the University of Edinburgh, three years done with two to go and she had figured out from the sonogram that Rich had a kidney stone. I thought kidney stones were only for old people, evidently not.
We sat around talking for a few hours and after Rich and Kate had been waiting five hours to see a doctor, Rich had a nurse give him a shot of painkiller and the three of us got up and left the government hospital. When Rich requested his painkiller, the nurse came at him with a clean needle, which we had given to her and she tried to put it in his ass and he kept telling her I want you to put it in my arm and she kept gesturing to his bottom and he said, no I want it in my arm, so the nurse kind of shrugged her shoulders, administered the shot and Rich screamed in pain because apparently the painkiller was a thick serum.
While Rich was sitting in the government hospital waiting, I sat on the bed with them showing them pictures I had taken around Mysore and from Gokarn. When I heard this horrible banging on the outside of the building, I looked up over Rich’s head and there was a window cut in the wall that had no glass. It had a few bars going across horizontally and it was then covered with a bit of burlap sack. The banging on the outside of the building was heavy construction going on at the hospital with no regard to the sick patients inside. As I was talking to Rich, I noticed it was getting dusty and smoky and I could not understand why. I finally worked out that they were banging on the building outside and bits of stone and rubble were falling on the windows and then bouncing on to the floor next to Rich’s hospital bed. I could only imagine what else could happen in that room.
Once we had left the government hospital, Rich’s pain had subsided and we had drugs to kill the pain for a few days until we could get better medical care. Right after leaving the hospital, we got a rickshaw out, out to a private hospital for their help, but were told by the doctor out there that the urologist was not in until 4:30 Monday. This was a Saturday and to just take drugs until then. After this ordeal, we went back to our new room and all had our first full night sleep in eight days.
We were heading to Hassan today to check out what is supposed to be two really cool temples. Little did we know that getting there would be such a herculean task. No buses to Hassan, so we jumped on a local’s bus to the nearby town of Sagar, thinking we could get a train there.
No trains or buses to Hassan there, but we could take the express bus to Shimoga where we could catch to get a third bus to Hassan. We took bus #2 to Shimoga and decided we needed a lunch break before any of us could face boarding another Indian bus ride.
After lunch, it was to the bus station and when I inquired if the bus leaving at 3:45 under the Hassan sign was actually going to Hassan. I was told that that particular bus was leaving at 3:45 for Mysore, another 120 kilometers farther south from Hassan. The bus was about to leave and we were sick of waiting, so the three of us just boarded the bus and headed off to Mysore.
We have been on so many buses that day that we were a bit delirious. So, about the sixth hour into our third bus ride, Kate, Rich, and I just started singing anything and everything that came to mind, children’s rhymes, musicals, Christmas carols. We were bored silly and upon our arrival in Mysore at 10:30 p.m. that night, we figured out we have been riding buses for something like 10 to 11 hours that day. No wonder we were deserving of those nice white jackets with the funny sleeves that tie in the back.
We checked into the first hotel we could find, called the Ritz and had a real colonial time. We all really relaxed in our nice room with a shower that had real hot water. I did note that I had not had a hot shower since Christmas Eve. After a nice dinner and a few rums, we all retired to bed exhausted from the day’s travel.
 Gokarna to Jog Falls, Karnataka, India – It was time for Kate, Rich and I to put ourselves together and move on. We have been sitting on the beach for almost 12 days solid. We packed our bags, took our last walk through the movie set town of Gokarn and jumped on the bus to Jog Falls. We did the tie your pack to the roof of the bus bit and had a rather boring, bumpy six-hour bus ride up and down the Karnataka mountains to the falls.
I do not know what the deal was but the girl sitting behind me got car sick all over her mother and another older woman leaned out the window and booted everywhere. It seems that the only one who do not get car sick are the westerners.
Once we arrived at the Falls, I climbed up on the roof of the bus and was in the process of untying our bags when the bus started to pull away bound for its next stop. Kate and Rich started screaming and hitting the side of the bus just as I got a firm grip on the luggage rack ready for the ride of my life. They managed to get the driver’s attention and he stopped long enough for me to throw the packs down on to the ground and climb off the back of the bus, typical third world event.
We arrived at 5 p.m. So, we got a room and then wandered over to take a look at the Falls. These are the tallest in India measuring in at 253 meters, but they are nowhere near as impressive as Victoria Falls, Zimbabwe.
For lack of something better to do, the three of us hiked down to the base of the Falls and nearly died of over-exhaustion after completing the bloody climb out of the gorge. It was not that exciting to begin with.
We went to sleep, more passed out from fatigue shortly thereafter, but before we could turn the light out, a cockroach had to make his cameo appearance by walking across my mattress. Kate happened to be closest to him, so she knocked him on the floor and killed him, followed by all three of us simultaneously pulling our beds away from the walls.
Gokarna, Karnataka, India – Three weeks ago, today, Rich and I arrived on the Indian subcontinent. I never would have thought we would be spending this much time here. This country really has a lot to offer. We have not traveled that far and we have got a long way to go but it has been too fun so far. This morning, the man that owned our little beach complex we are staying in told us that we got to upgrade our room to one of the beach front ones. We gathered our stuff and moved to the front building with the view facing the ocean. It is much better than our cockroach infested room, only you have got to watch out for the cows. Very huge number of cows that walk around on the beach in front of the room and if you do not keep the door closed, they will come up on the porch and have a peep in your room if you are not careful. Could not muster much energy, so sitting on the beach 10 yards from our new room, reading was the only thing we could manage. We all liked our new room because we could just hang on the porch in the evening before going to bed. No cockroaches in this room, just ants. At about 4 a.m., I awoke to the sounds of Rich taking our India guide and bringing it down repeatedly on the trail of ants making the way across his mattress. At least, it was not cockroaches.
Gokarna, Karnataka, India – Woke up at 7:15 a.m., not fully rested after our cockroach ordeal, so we all had a smoke at 8 o’clock to relax us. We went to the town early for our usual breakfast of chai and sheerah before making our way back to the room to get ready for the beach. When we returned to our place, we thought we would sit on this wooden bed out under the shade of the palm trees for a spell before going to the beach. Just next to the bed, was a hammock tied up where I thought I would relax well. Four hours two jay fay’s, five candy bars, two packages of cookies, and three teas later, we were still sitting on the bed and in the hammock. Just the day before, we had mentioned we could not understand how people could sit on that wooden bed and piss away the day. We managed with no problem. We did make it to town about 3:30 for a late lunch, then it was back to the hammock for a nap before sunset and dinner. Hence, the habits you get into when you have no responsibilities.
 Gokarn, India – A very lazy day, none of us got up until 11:15 a.m. and only left the room at 1:30 p.m. in search of food. After our snack we took a very leisurely walk through the city back to our place, where Rich and Kate sat on the beach and I sat under the shade of the porch reading and looking at the ocean; it was too hot to do anything else.
The sun finally went down and we started our nightly walk in search of nourishment. I noticed it was darker than usual as we stumbled through the narrow street, and only when we arrived in the center of the village did I figure out there wasn’t any power. It was Tuesday so we just assumed there wasn’t any power on Tuesday. It’s funny how you just accept answers like that when you’re traveling in a Third World country.
We ate dinner by candlelight and as we were walking down the street the power came on. Popped in to a little shop for some ice cream and the power went off again – typical. After our snack we didn’t have anything better to do than walk back to the room, for everyone else in the village had deserted the streets after the second power outage; they couldn’t be bothered re-lighting all the lanterns. The power came back on again just as we returned to our room so we could at least [see what we were doing].
All was well until I spotted what would cause us much excitement that evening. Up on the back wall above Rich and Kate was a large black cockroach just taking a look around. Now, ever since Rich & I had cockroaches in our apartment in Washington D.C., I’ve never been too fond of them and as long as they’re not near me I’m O.K. Kate loathes the things, so as soon as I’d pointed it out to the two of them, she immediately jumped up and was sitting next to me on the opposite side of the room from the roach. Rich dealt with the insect, using his thong to flatten it out – leaving a black stain on the wall.
The roach was gone, so we all began to relax again, that is, until roach number two made his appearance. I picked up a T-shirt next to my sleeping bag and out from behind it crawled a huge red roach. I jumped up and immediately grabbed my lighter thinking I’d burn the thing to death. I chased it up the wall with my portable fire (insuring it wasn’t going to get back down into my sleeping bag) but it crawled into a hole in the mortar, escaping the flame. Kate was jumping around saying she couldn’t sleep until we’d killed the roach, so we sat there trying to figure out how to coax it out of its hiding place. Kate took a lit incense stick and jammed it into the hole thinking if she burned it a little the roach would come out. No dice. I moved over and peered in the hole with my lighter flame turned up as high as it would go. I guess watching me with the flame made a light bulb go off in Rich’s head because he immediately rummaged through his rucksack and pulled out a can of aerosol Old Spice deodorant. He took my lighter and fashioned one of those home made blow torches you get when you hold a flame in front of an aerosol nozzle as you spray it. I jumped across the room to where Kate was, and the two of us stood there screaming to Rich where to direct his six inch flame. He torched the hole and the roach re-appeared and made a break up the wall. Rich followed it with the flame, trying to flambe it, scaring the creature over the top of the wall into the next room. With the second roach gone we all relaxed – a little, so we just laid in our bed with the light on.
This was when the next actor in our comedy of errors appeared. Right above Kate’s head on the wall closest to her was another roach. Rich spotted it and once Kate had figured out why Rich was poised over her, thong in hand, she made her usual flying jump across the room, landing next to me. Rich took a swing at the roach but ended up just knocking it off the wall so a game of hide and seek ensued with Rich throwing everything out of his way until the roach crawled up the wall again. This time its number was up and was tossed out the door on his deathbed of one Made in Taiwan thong.
Hopefully that’s all the excitement we were going to get that evening, so we turned off the light and tried to get some rest. About twenty minutes later I heard Kate thrashing her legs around, and then her and Rich saying something. That’s when I felt something crawl off the backpack next to me onto my knee. I jumped up and started shaking out my sleeping bag to scare away the creature.
When Kate heard my quick movements she sat up in bed and screamed, “Brad! Brad! Did you feel something crawl on you?”
“Yeah.”
When she heard that she lost it and shrieked, “OH MY GOD THERE’S SOMETHING IN HERE!”
Kate was still screaming as she bounded out of bed, hitting the light switch on before climbing atop one of the backpacks. We had a look around for the creature to no avail, so we just turned out the light and hoped for the best. It’s not that bad sleeping in a room with cockroaches if you can’t hear them, the problem with our room was that the mortar between the bricks was not that good so when the roaches walked on the walls you could feel the bits of mortar fall off the wall onto your head as the roach moved along.
 Gokarna, Karnataka, India – This morning, we woke up inside our basket, gathered our things, and upgraded to a room with solid walls. This was your basic room, a little smaller than our basket with walls made of homemade bricks and mortar. I touched the mortar with my finger and a huge chunk of it fell out of the wall, so I assumed it was not real mortar.
Headed to town for breakfast, but we got side tracked and went to the pharmacy instead. Now, Kate is a medical student, probably one of the best people to have around a dispensing chemist that will give you anything. After consulting her, about 20 tablets of diazepam, also known as Valium that cost 60 cents, got to love those Indian chemists.
Found a restaurant, but since no one has any menus in English and very few waiters speak English as well, it is kind of a free for all breakfast. When we entered the restaurant, Kate went over and looked at what they were serving to get an idea of what to order. We ended up getting parathas and a bowl of this yellowed stuff called sheerah, which tasted like cream of wheat with tons of sugar in it. We filled the parathas with this stuff and washed it back with chai.
 As I exited, just outside the door to the restaurant there was this beautiful green Tata Tea ad painted on the building and right in front of it a good looking cow so I snapped a shot. [2009 Note: The Tata Tea cow was one of the most popular photos in all if the Traveller’s Tales collection, and in 1998 I returned to the same spot to see if the tea ad still existed. It had been painted over. In the photos at right the top photo is the cow, the bottom what it looked like five years later.]
We wandered through town back to our room for we needed to get our stuff and go to the beach to the left of the place we were staying with a large rock headland complete with Hindu temple that we were told we needed to go over to get to the nice beach. We walked over to the temple at the base of the hill, but instead of taking the steps up to the side of the cliff, we thought we would walk around and see how it went. After 5 minutes of walking and crossing one rather large canyon, we hit a rock face that did not look that hard to climb, but in thongs it may have been a major project. Kate and Rich started scaling the thing  and I went back to the temple and used the steps to the top. At the top, there was yet one more temple with a little old man asking for money, which I bypassed and started walking over the top towards the other side.
Along the way, I spotted a guru sitting cross-legged at the next cliff over. So I hid in the bushes and took a photo of him sitting at the edge of his shoe rock face. I finally found Rich and Kate walking through a cow field just as three of us spotted the beach we have been looking for. We made it down the other side of the hill and ended up on this secluded beach with about 30 other people on it, all westerners and most of them hippies. Long hair abound on most of the people with the topless or no-cloth option definitely in play here.
The beach was really uncrowded and so relaxing. We assisted our bodies in contracting melanoma for a few hours, then we moved up on to the deck of one of the local chai shops with remainder of the afternoon. Had our tea and snacks and all of a sudden, it was 5 o’clock. We did not know where the time had gone. We gathered our things and made the hike back over the hill to our room.
Upon our return, we got so wasted that we literally could not move, so we just lounged around until we could deal with going into town to get dinner, made it to dinner, but we were still out of it hours later. We crashed in our room shortly thereafter, but I could not sleep. So, I went and laid on the beach and watch the stars.
 Colva to Gokarna, Karnataka, India – Woke up at 7 a.m. to pack our bags and get out to the road to catch the bus to Margao where we could get a bus to Gokarn, Gokarna to the Indians, the next beach town we have to visit. We met a couple from Edinburgh out on the curb who are also heading the same way, so we sat there with their island of stuff waiting for the bus. The bus came barreling down the road, turned around the traffic circle we were waiting, and raced back down the street the way it had come, not bothering to stop for the group of people and all of their stuff. We then had to hire a mini van to take us to Margao for the next leg of our journey. There were not any buses to Gokarn until later in the day, so we got the bus to Karwar, the biggest town near Gokarn.
Jumped on the bus and took another one of those tropical Indian bus rides where the driver just floors the gas pedal and all of the passengers bounce around on the minimally padded seats. I took a seat next to the emergency door thinking that I would make a quick exit in the event of a crash, but the Karnataka bus company foiled my plan by forgetting to install a door handle on the emergency door, typical.
Arrived in Karwar, a town not known for anything, save the 60 cows always in the middle of the street blocking traffic. We were told the bus to Gokarn was not leaving for four hours, so we just sat under an awning on the street watching life go by. I will say that at this point we had not been to a town that had so many cows as this place. I entertained myself by walking around, taking photos of city life while Rich and Kate fought off the ubiquitous beggars. The bus finally came and we were off to Gokarn on our local’s bus packed with people. This bus ride was rather like one of the ones in Malawi where the bus stops every 50 meters to let another local off right outside their respective houses.
After a few hours of that, we finally arrived in Gokarn at 5 p.m. This town was amazing, not a lot of modernism, and not spoiled by too many tourists. This was the India I traveled so far to see. We got off the bus and were suddenly immersed in the craziness of this village. Men dressed only in their white dhotis with the white lines painted across their foreheads, would walk by and stare at us. Some of the shopkeepers screamed welcome while others just stood around watching us. We gathered our stuff and started walking down the street towards the beach. This city had the most amazing feeling to it. The city consists of one long narrow street with absolutely no side streets jetting off of it. The only other time I felt like this is at Disneyland or the Warner Brothers’ movie, backlot where you do not feel as the witcher walking past is real. The narrow street, the people everywhere, do not forget the cows, the 25 feet high tower ______ 329% in the street ready to be pulled through town during the festival honoring Ganesh. None of it felt real. It looked and felt like a movie set.
 We followed the street to the beach where one of the local lads led us to a place on the beach where we could stay. This Indian man has built a small complex similar to Mrs. Roches in Nairobi where people can stay. Rich stayed with the packs while Kate and I went and checked out the room they were offering.
The owner met us and explained he would not have a free room until the next morning, but we could stay in a different room tonight. At that, he led us over to a long rectangle jetting off the side of the house made out of dry woven palm fronds, which looked like a life-size picnic basket. He pulled open the first panel. We looked inside and saw a 7 feet x 10 feet room complete with beaten earth and floor and walls made out of the same material as the door. I managed to just open it. I stepped into the room and got the same feeling, I imagine, Bob Denver had the first time he walked on to the Gilligan’s Island set. This was real life Gilligan’s Island. The ceiling was held up by a single pole holding up a large mat of the fronds and there was a 3-feet high mud wall along the back of the hut. There were tons of normal balanced vertically on top of the wall blocking out the light from the ceiling up to the top of the wall. It was really wild.
The room was going to cost us the exorbitant amount of 10 rupees or 30 cents for the night for all three of us, mattresses 15 cents extra. Then, when we moved to one of the rooms with the mud and brick walls, the rent would go up to 20 rupees bonus bargain. Kate and I both accepted and went to go and get Rich and put our stuff in our “room.” The room really was more like a life-size basket with the door being just one panel tied with a string to a pole. It was a way too cool.
We changed, then found the path leading into town. The great thing about the city planning of Gokarn or lack thereof is that there is only one road, you cannot get lost, not even if you tried because there are not any side streets. We made our way through the various turns in the road, passing temples, curio shops, and chai (tea) stores in search of a restaurant for dinner. We had been visited by the jay fay earlier, so when we hit the main drag where the street was really narrow with the strings of dried flowers hung over the road, it really felt like a Warner movie set. We had our awesome 8 rupee, 24-cent thalis for dinner before getting really tired from our journey and heading back to the room for some sleep. Little did we know, but Gokarn is a total hippie colony on the beach. The flower children of the 60s all made it here when they were booted out of San Francisco and London. As we were walking around, I heard one tenant ask another dude, “Have you started your painting yet?” “Yea! but it is not going too well” was the response. I did not laugh out loud. I found Rich talking to this woman 35 years old approximately who is telling him the story about how she joined a Hare Krishna Colony for two years when she was 18. People like that. Too funny that would stumble into this place.
Colva Beach, Goa, India – Woke up at 3:30 a.m. because my arms felt like they were being chewed up by bed bugs or scabies. It turned out to be neither, but that is certainly what it felt like. Could not get back to sleep, so when the sun started coming up, I wandered down to the beach to see the fishermen coming in with their catches. I got down there and there was a frenzy of activity. There were huge piles of prawns, fish, crabs, and what looked like crawdads all mixed together, and groups of Indian women were busily sorting each fish group into different baskets. I walked over to see how the prawns were when one of the boys held up a 6 to 7-inch king prawn and told me he sell it to me for 3 rupees or 9 cents each, amazing. Too bad, we had no means to cook them. We had not even seen a barbeque on this beach. It is too much like a tourist resort with tons of restaurants. We found out that there are no package tours with flights from Gatwick to Goa, specifically Colva. Again that accounts for the high prices for everything. At about 10 o’clock, I went and got Rich and Kate and the three of us walked about an hour down the beach back to this secluded spot I had written the day before. It was so peaceful. No fruit girls, no bed sheets for sale, no nothing. Bathed in the sun all day, napping, and watched the sunset before heading back. Due to our reservation for both of the dorm rooms we were staying at in the tourist complex, all eight of us were getting kicked out the next morning. So the lot of us went out to dinner together that evening. Had an amazing dinner of prawns and lively conversation wherein the Jeff, an AIDS counselor from New York City. After our rad dinner, we headed to Tequilas where I had my last beer before leaving. Colva is nice, but a little too touristy for my taste. So, leaving was not that hard.
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